This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
