haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is Oprah even human
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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