I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
