he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
