The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
