i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
