Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
