I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
