We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
