i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
