3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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