i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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