Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
