i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
