get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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