new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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