I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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