Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
