It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
