My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
its liver damage thursday
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
