All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
