She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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