sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Non-Jews are for practice
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
