3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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