i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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