I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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