p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
