OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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