Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize