Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
