This dress was meant to end up on your floor
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
