I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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