O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
