it's great music for shaving your balls
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
