i just sent this text using only my big toe
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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