Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
