I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
