So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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