i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
