so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
