I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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