Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
