living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
