I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
God, I missed his penis.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
