he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
