First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
