You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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