dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
