To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
