Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the condom got lost in my hair
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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