um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
