She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
